Monday, December 31, 2007

Old John's Almanac 2008

Having so successfully predicted the top family law news stories of 2007, here are my predictions for 2008:

January - The former office of Messrs. Brow, Beaten & Bankrupt of Little Sodbury, the last firm to offer a legal aid service, reopens as a McDonald's restaurant.

February - Heather Mills releases an instructional DVD, "How to keep calm during your divorce".

March - The Government announces that it has finalised its plans to reform the Child Support Agency. Apart from a different name (C-MEC), the new agency will be exactly the same as the CSA, but half the size.

April - McDonald's in Little Sodbury announces that it will now offer a free divorce with every burger.

May - Mr Justice Singer is reprimanded after he suggests that a black wife might prefer to receive maintenance in the form of bananas.

June - C-MEC announces that all of its records have been lost, when they are eaten by a clerk's dog.

July - The Legal Services Commission increase legal aid rates by 0.1%, in a last-ditch effort to entice solicitors back into legal aid. There are no takers.

August - The Office for National Statistics announces that the divorce rate has fallen again. The Department for Work and Pensions announces that the number of unemployed solicitors has increased again.

September - Fathers' rights group The Real Families Need Fathers 4 Justice executes its most audacious stunt to date, painting Gordon Brown's face red. However, after the PM's latest loss of records embarrassment (his Cliff Richard collection), no one notices.

October - C-MEC announces that, to reduce its workload, all arrears more than a week old will be remitted.

November - Climate change campaigners protest outside Parliament, calling for the abolition of divorce.

December - In the New Years' Honours, Bruce Hyman receives a knighthood for services to the legal profession.

Happy New Year!

4 comments:

  1. bene jocosus! annum faustum... AD :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Glad you liked it. Hope you have an annum faustum too!

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  3. Fantastic!

    Wishing you all the best for the New Year, John.

    I do read through your blog every day.

    Just to inform you I have beaten the bastards (CSA ) at long last with the help of a wonderful solicitor.
    Although I still have to suffer the torture of dealing with them for the next few years, this is alleviated by the fact the substantial arrears are not as much as they used to be.
    I can console myself with reading through the pages of the Financial Redress Scheme.

    Cracking open some Red later on. Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Excellent news! I'm really pleased for you. Enjoy the wine, and best wishes for the New Year.

    ReplyDelete

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