Maybe not...

In a fit of excitement last night I woke my cat Muhammad to tell him my brilliant idea for drumming up new business.

"The trouble is," he said, yawning, "you don't have the body to appear in Playgirl."

"No." I agreed. "My body would put people off."

"Maybe you could have a body double. How about George Clooney?" Suggested Muhammad.

"Yes, that could work." I said. "But what would we call my advice column?"

"How about 'The Lawyer of Lust'?"

"Now you're talking." I said.

Muhammed paused for a moment, thoughtfully scratching his ear with a back paw. "So," he said, "how do we get you known to Playgirl? We have to do some outrageous advertising campaign."

"Ah." I said. "That could be a problem."

Muhammad's green eyes lit up. "I've got it." He said. "Advertise yourself on condom wrappers, with the slogan: 'Protect Your Assets With Johnny Bolch!'"

"Perfect!" I said. "Call the advertising agency!"

Muhammad sighed, and went back to sleep.


  1. If that picture appeared on the packet it would have a contraceptive effect before the condom was unwrapped.

    "I'm sorry love...the moment has passed..."

    No offence - just a bit of fun.

  2. Maybe I should have picked a better looking body? ;-)

  3. You mean...that's not your body? People at the BBC have been sacked for less!

  4. No, it's not - but don't tell anyone!

  5. Good grief, John

    I had no idea. let me know which steroid you are on... I might try it. I am slim... but those abs are a problem for me...

  6. No steroids - just healthy living (and the odd cigarette).

  7. I had a look at my own stomach... it seems that I have a 'one pack'.

    Maybe a few sit ups are needed in my case.


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