In a fit of excitement last night I woke my cat Muhammad to tell him my brilliant idea for drumming up new business.
"The trouble is," he said, yawning, "you don't have the body to appear in Playgirl."
"No." I agreed. "My body would put people off."
"Maybe you could have a body double. How about George Clooney?" Suggested Muhammad.
"Yes, that could work." I said. "But what would we call my advice column?"
"How about 'The Lawyer of Lust'?"
"Now you're talking." I said.
Muhammed paused for a moment, thoughtfully scratching his ear with a back paw. "So," he said, "how do we get you known to Playgirl? We have to do some outrageous advertising campaign."
"Ah." I said. "That could be a problem."
Muhammad's green eyes lit up. "I've got it." He said. "Advertise yourself on condom wrappers, with the slogan: 'Protect Your Assets With Johnny Bolch!'"
"Perfect!" I said. "Call the advertising agency!"
Muhammad sighed, and went back to sleep.