Muhammad seemed to be taking great pleasure scratching himself.
"Have you got fleas?" I asked.
"Certainly not." He replied indignantly.
"You haven't been consorting with that Russian Blue down the road again, have you?"
Muhammad smiled knowingly. "Who do you think I am, George Osborne?"
Muhammad glanced at my computer screen. "What's that you're reading there?" He asked.
"Oh, this is a story that Jailhouselawyer pointed out to me. It appeared in the Guardian on Thursday."
Muhammad read out the headline: "'Sharia law incompatible with human rights legislation, Lords say'. Hmm. Reminds me of that Basil Fawlty quote: "Can't we get you on Mastermind, Sybil? Next contestant - Sybil Fawlty from Torquay, specialist subject: the bleedin' obvious.""
"Yes, it's not exactly surprising is it?" I remarked.
"What is it this time, stoning adulterers?" Muhammad asked.
"No, an asylum case. Woman didn't want to return to Lebanon, as if she did then she would have to hand over custody of her son to his father, who beat her and even attempted to strangle her - under sharia law as it's applied in Lebanon fathers have exclusive custody of children over seven."
"Sounds quite reasonable to me." Said Muhammad, rolling his eyes.
"Thankfully the Lords found in her favour."
"Can't see why it had to go all the way to the House of Lords." Commented Muhammad, absently scratching his itch again.
"You have been talking to that Russian Blue!" I exclaimed.
Realising what he was doing, Muhammad saw the funny side. "Yes, but I didn't ask for any money," he purred.