Do not read this rubbish

I remember watching Top Gear back in the days when it used to tell you useful things about cars you could actually afford. Interesting things, like the capacity of the boot and how many miles per gallon you could get if you drove at a constant 37.5 miles per hour. Now, alas, the three overgrown schoolboys that present the programme spend their time driving cars that I can't even afford to look at around roads that I'll never visit, or in juvenile escapades with only passing relevance to cars and driving. Take last night's programme for instance, half of which comprised the puerile presenters pretending to build an electric car and drawing willies on their faces.

What has all of this got to do with family law? Well, in his Sunday Times column yesterday the great Jeremy Clarkson gave us the benefit of his wisdom on raising children. The pretext for the article was the announcement last week by a government parenting adviser that lesbian women make better parents than heterosexual couples. Clearly unafraid of the political correctness police, Clarkson pronounces himself glad that his father wasn't a lesbian, and on the way gives us the benefit of his wisdom on the National Academy for Parenting Practitioners, artificial insemination, the British Association for Adoption & Fostering, Italians and global warming. How a once-great newspaper like The Thunderer can print this rubbish, I don't know.

Come back Chris Goffey and Quentin Wilson, all is forgiven.


  1. I was about to take issue with this and suggest you get a sense of humour when I remembered that I didn't actually watch Top Gear last night because I couldn't be bothered with such puerile claptrap. So apologies. But surely, only two of these schoolboys could be called overgrown.

    And for the sake of accuracy (I wouldn't have read it if you hadn't mentioned it), Clarkson said he was glad his mother wasn't a lesbian, not his father.

  2. Hi Nick. Yes, you're right - one can hardly be described as overgrown! Clarkson did, however, say he was glad his father wasn't a lesbian, in the title to the article.

  3. The version of Top Gear that you get all misty eyed over was cancelled because no one watched it. The latest incarnation is the most watched programme not on BBC1 or ITV1, and makes the BBC a fortune. It won an Emmy in 2005.

    Useful information about cars you can afford was, until recently, available on Fifth Gear on Five. It's just been cancelled because no one watched it.

  4. Thank god Jeremy Clarkson wasn't my dad. I dread to think how I would have turned out. He should stick to spouting moronic crap about cars rather than applying his skills to other more important things. He'll be running to be an MP next.

  5. Oops, sorry, didn't read the title - probably not written by Clarkson anyway.

    I'm off to build a self-flagellating machine out of Meccano.

  6. Lucy: JC as MP? Could that be any worse than the shower we have now?

    Nick: Excellent! You could sell the blueprints to Tory MPs!


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