Just Call Us

I have received the following press release from Messrs. Venal & Grabbit:

Just Call Us

There have been three family law stories in the news this week that we at Venal & Grabbit feel moved to comment upon.

Firstly, the issue of pre-nuptial agreements. We would like to say that we are fully in support of these becoming legally binding. To us, the concept of another benefiting from one's hard graft is utterly abhorrent. It should, of course, be possible for one to protect one's assets from the gold-digging spouse. If you wish us to draw up a pre-nuptial agreement for you, then we can do so for a very reasonable fee - just call us, on 01234 666-666.

Secondly, legal aid. The misguided fools at the Justice for All campaign believe that we hard-working taxpayers should pay the legal fees of the slackers in society who can't be bothered to do an honest day's work. This is complete nonsense. Venal & Grabbit therefore fully support the government's proposals to withdraw legal aid for most family matters. This does not, of course, have anything to do with the fact that withdrawing legal aid will mean more people paying privately for their legal advice (if you require such advice, then please call us, on 01234 666-666).

Finally, child maintenance. Why should the partners at Venal & Grabbit through their excessive taxes subsidise those who cannot agree their child maintenance arrangements? It is quite wrong. We therefore agree with the proposal that such parents should pay as big a fee as they can afford for the privilege of having their child maintenance sorted out for them. Accordingly, if you would like us to sort out your child maintenance for you, then call us, on 01234 666-666.


  1. Dear Messrs Venal and Grabbit,

    May we at Tightwad and Curmugeonly - your excessively TOLERANt views ( in our humble opinion) on permitting staff to oberve the forthcoming Royal Nuptuals notwthstanding - congratulate you on this STERLING post. It is simply unacceptable that spouse and offspring should in any way be allowed to benefit from any and all assets acquired during the course of marriage without the ( exceptionally extortionate) benefit provided by the services of our amazing profession. We particularly hold with your fine views with regard to Legal Aid. Heaven FORFEND that access to justice should be provided to all who cannot afford the likes of our good selves.


    Messrs Tightwad and Curmudgeonly, esq.
    (firm motto " Money or Nothing")

  2. Messrs Tightwad and Curmudgeonly, you are an example to your profession.

    Venal & Grabbit.


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