Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Big Society

Venal & Grabbit are very conscious of the need to play their part in Mr Cameron's Big Society. After all, one must do one's bit for the common good. Accordingly, they are pleased to announce that they have volunteered their entire staff for a weekend of charity work, delivering free meals to those poor unfortunate lawyers who do legal aid work.

Mr Grabbit said: "We have heard that some legal aid lawyers make less than £500 an hour. Quite how they manage on such a pittance is beyond us. This work will ensure that, for one weekend at least, they will have a decent meal on the table."

Sadly, neither Mr Venal nor Mr Grabbit will be able to participate in the work, due to pressing prior engagements in their offshore tax havens.

2 comments:

  1. Dear Messrs Venal and Grabbit,

    We at Tightwad and Curmudgeonly never cease to be amazed not only at the exceptional level of care you extend to your client, but also at the degree of goodwill you are prepared to demonstrate to those legal aid lawyers earning such a pittance.

    However, we would like to point out that such lawyers as you propose to support ( i.e. those who somewhat laughably believe in such senitmental frippery as fairness, social justice and the general protection of the most vulnerable denizens of society etc, etc) with the provision of one cooked meal a week should NOT in fact be assisted in any way at all,given that concepts of the big society lean primarily toward driving the management of their clients needs into the hands of those better able to generate quality profits from their situation - more so than any lawyer simply willing to help just because they believe it is the correct ting to do. Consequently, the extension of Help without generation of significant profit as a result of that help, may generally be regarded as an outmoded concept.

    Still, should you maintain your wish to feed these lawyers, we suggest that you look to a business known to us as Recycled Hospital Meals inc , where, for a mere £1.50 you would be able to provide a 3 course meal for 478 individuals. The fact that such repast completely tasteless and lacking in any sort of nutritive value is, of course, beside the point.

    Yours Sincerely,

    Messrs Tightwad and Curmudgeonly,
    Solicitors.

    (addressing yout esteemed selves via I-phone over lunch at the Fat Duck with several colleagues from The Investment Arm of Barclays Bank.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Tightwad and Curmudgeonly,

    We are, of course, fully aware that legal aid lawyers will shortly have no place in Big Society, and we are looking forward to extracting substantial profits from their former clients. For the reasons you state, we would not, of course, give succour to legal aid lawyers if we were not entirely confident of their imminent demise into the dustbin of historical do-goodery.

    Your suggestion regarding the sourcing of meals is noted, and will be investigated by our accounts department.

    Meanwhile, please pass our regards to Mr Blumenthal.

    Yours etc.,

    Venal & Grabbit.

    ReplyDelete

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