State Invitations Secretary,
Lord Chamberlain's Office,
Buckingham Palace,
London SW1A 1AA.
Our ref: EV/B
Date: 20th February 2011

Dear Sir,

Re: Royal Wedding

I accept the invitation to the nuptials of the Prince of Wales and Miss Middleton - I am sure that they will be honoured by my presence. I trust that I will be given a seat in the Abbey commensurate with my status.

I enclose two copies of my business card, and should be grateful if you would pass these to William and Kate, for future reference.

Yours etc.,

Edgar Venal

P.S. I will be charging my time for attending the wedding at my usual rate, plus 50% mark-up.


  1. Dear Edgar,

    What a relief it is to see that you have at LONG last recieved your invitation to attend the royal nuptuals!
    I myself recieved such an invitation not 3 weeks ago, and found it useful to send the happy couple a fine china teaset bearing the firm's credentials, which, I trust, will be placed in a position of some prominance in the Royal Household so that they may feel assured that our services are but a comforting beverage and phone call away.
    We choose not to talk of rates with the couple since, as those within royal circles already KNOW, it is somewhat base to discuss financial matters relating to royalty in public.

    Looking Forward to Seeing You On The Happy Day,

    Sincerely Yours,

    Aldous Tightwad.

  2. My dear Aldous,

    I am sure you are looking forward to seeing me. Of course, I shall be at the front of the Abbey - unfortunately, it may be somewhat difficult for you to see me from your seat at the back.



  3. Dear Edgar,

    It is quite one thing to be invited of course - but to be invited AND to participate in the ceremonial is quite another.

    You may rest assured that I shall dispense to you a small acknowledgement as the wedding party progresses down the asile.


  4. Aldous, you're not going to be wearing your bridesmaid's dress again, are you? I've told you about that before.



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