Thursday, June 23, 2011

Edgar Venal welcomes legal aid abolition

In an exclusive interview with Family Lore, Edgar Venal, Senior Partner at Messrs. Venal & Grabbit, has welcomed the (virtual) abolition of legal aid under the Legal Aid, Sentencing and Punishment of Offenders Bill. Here is the interview in full:

Family Lore: Good morning, Mr Venal, it is a great pleasure to have the opportunity to interview you.

Edgar Venal: And an honour.

FL: Quite. Now, Mr Venal, what do you think about the government vitually abolishing legal aid in the Legal Aid Bill?

EV: It's a return to the good old days, when the law was just for those who could afford it. No longer will this esteemed profession have to sully its hands working for the great unwashed.

FL: But surely there will be some deserving people who will no longer be able to have access to the law?

EV: That's just the sort of lilly-livered pinko thinking that's got this country into the mess it's in. The law wasn't put there to be used by all and sundry.

FL: So what should poor people do if they have a legal issue to deal with?

EV: Well, that's not my problem, but they can always try this new-fangled mediation-thingy.

FL: But we all know that mediation is not a panacea. What if it's unsuccessful?

EV: Then let them eat cake.

FL: Sorry?

EV: A little joke.

FL: I see. Moving on, what do you think will be the effect of the Bill upon the profession?

EV: Well, for a start, it'll weed out all those bed-wetting liberals who came into the law with the misguided intention of 'helping others'.

FL: But surely, many good lawyers could be put out of work?

EV: If there are any good ones doing legal aid...

FL: I'm sure there are one or two.

EV: Well, if they're up to it and can bill enough, then maybe I could find them work somewhere. Now, on the subject of work, I've got fees to earn, so if you don't mind getting out of my office...

FL: Of course. Thank you for the interview.

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