All men are equal

The Minister for Women and Equalities,
19th September 2011

Dear Mrs May,

Re: Gender Reporting Initiative

In accordance with the above I am pleased to report the following information regarding my firm:

  • Percentage of female partners: 0

  • Percentage of female fee earners: 0

  • Percentage of female secretaries: 100

  • Percentage of female cleaners: 100

  • Percentage of females doing other menial tasks: 100

  • Promotion rates by gender: Male 100%, Female 0%

  • Number of maternity leave returners: Not bloody likely.

  • Number of staff on flexible hours: All staff expected to work 24/7.

  • Variances between male and female salaries: N/A (Only a man can do a man's job.)

  • Action required to address issues: None

I trust that this is entirely satisfactory.

Yours faithfully,

Edgar Venal

P.S. Shouldn't you be at home looking after your husband?

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Eversheds becomes first law firm on board new Govt sex equality scheme - Legalweek, 19th September 2011