Venal & Grabbit offer new service for suspicious clients

I have received the following press release from Messrs. Venal & Grabbit, Solicitors:


London, 11th November 2011: Venal & Grabbit are pleased to announce a new service for clients who suspect that their spouses may be having an affair. Called the Discreet Undercover Matrimonial Patrol ('DUMP'), the service employs the very best private investigators in the country, who will leave no stone unturned in their quest to find clients the evidence they need to divorce their spouses. DUMP's investigators will pursue straying spouses using every method at their disposal, but always ensuring the spouse is unaware they are being followed.

Senior Partner Edgar Venal said: "We are delighted to offer this new service. DUMP will dig the dirt on your spouse, and provide everything we need to divorce them, and make them wish they'd never two-timed on you. DUMP's PIs are professionals too - unlike other services, they won't give your spouse a clue what is happening. So remember - if you suspect they are playing away: DUMP your spouse!"