"Although the proven benefits of self-pity are numerous, sometimes the best way to get over your ex is to simply snap out of it. Offer a friend—or yourself—maximum relief from the distressing effects of heartache with our all-new Breakup Recovery Kit. It’s guaranteed to turn your affliction into conviction!"So says the sales blurb for the 'Breakup Recovery Kit', sold by Californian product design company Knock Knock. The kit contains:
- A 16-page 'remedy booklet', where you can check your symptoms, such as lack of personal hygiene, indiscriminate promiscuity and uncontrollable spending;
- A silicone bracelet with the inscription 'Heartbroken';
- 5 affirmation cards, at least one of which says "I will survive (barely)";
- 5 'healing bandages', to treat loneliness, hysteria etc.;
- A 'recovery certificate', in recognition of your achievements, such as removal of all evidence of your ex from your home; and
- A metal charm in the shape of a human heart (presumably, to replace the one that was broken).