Sunday, December 31, 2017

Old John's Almanac 2018

Without further ado, here are my predictions for 2018:

January - Family lawyers are at a loss as to how they should respond to a Court of Appeal judgment, after The Transparency Project fails to explain what the judgment really meant.

February - There is shock when a lawyer says that he actually learned something useful from a live-tweet from a family law conference.

March - Lawyers are splitting their sides at the antics of the new spoof Twitter legal personality "Ben Dover, the Court Security Officer'.

April - Ollie "Nosey" Nosworthy of fathers' rights group The Real Families Need Fathers 4 Justice begins a protest against the 'corrupt family courts', by chaining himself to the railings outside Watford Family Court. Unfortunately, he doesn't know the court closed last September.

May - As the marriage of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle takes place, law firm blogs across the country post about the benefits of pre-nuptial agreements.

June - In his last act as President of the Family Division Sir James Munby decrees that, to save money, all divorces will be outsourced to a call centre in Mumbai.

 - The new President of the Family Division Sir Cresswell Busybody tells reporters that changing everything every five minutes, like his predecessor, will not be good enough for him. He will be changing everything every two and a half minutes.

August - The Justice Secretary tells reporters that the result of the review into the legal aid cuts will be announced "Sometime in 2019, or possibly 2020. Definitely by 2021. Probably."

September - There is universal praise for Mr Justice Jacksie, when he writes a judgment in terms that the 2 year old child concerned could understand. It is just 9 words long: "Icol baby stay with mummy, see dada every Saturday."

October - Human Rights lawyers are concerned at new government proposals to recover unpaid child maintenance by bringing back debtors' prisons.

November - There is shock at the annual Family Law Awards when the Best Family Lawyer of the Year Award goes to someone who may not actually be better than every other family lawyer.

December - Lawyers are appalled at Curmudgeon & Co., the only law firm in the country not to tweet a picture of its office Xmas tree.

Happy New Year!

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