I came across a story from America yesterday that suggests that the divorce rate could be dropping because of the slowdown (halting?) of the property market. I've not yet seen any direct evidence of this over here, but it is of course the case that in many divorces the matrimonial home has to be sold, and in a lot of those cases, the parties have no real option but to remain in the property until the sale takes place. This could be causing enormous hardship, especially where one of the parties is suffering physical or emotional abuse.

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[rant mode on] I had intended not to mention the McCartney/Mills divorce again here, but I feel I have to post once more to correct numerous misleading reports that have been published regarding the pronouncement of the decree nisi today. Contrary to what they state (or indicate), the decree nisi does not finalise the divorce. The divorce will not be finalised until the court makes the decree absolute. [/rant mode off]

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Well, she's done it again. The self-styled 'YouTube Superstar' Tricia Walsh-Smith has published a second video on YouTube regarding her divorce. Now, I'm not particularly bothered about her and what she has to say, but I am interested in the effect, if any, of these videos upon the court proceedings, with the first hearing apparently due next Monday. Will the videos have any bearing, will they assist her case, or will they, as seems more likely, only make things worse for her? We shall see.

Meanwhile, here's the second video. Not so revealing or sensational as the first (if anything, rather rambling), but finishing with a question and the threat of more to come: "Will Tricia end up in a tent? Stay Tuned!"

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Here's the latest selection of search queries that have recently found their way to Family Lore, with my replies. As usual, my Disclaimer (see the sidebar) applies to what follows.

financial divorce consent order breach

The order may already have provisions covering this. If not, what to do depends upon the nature of the order that is breached. If it is an order for the payment of a lump sum of money, then it can be enforced in the same way as any other debt (warrant of execution, garnishee order, charging order etc.). If it is for payment of maintenance, the usual procedure is attachment of earnings. If it is for a transfer of property then you can, if necessary, obtain an order that the judge sign whatever documentation is required to give effect to the transfer.

do the english want sharia law?

I don’t think so, and I certainly hope not.

the beatles members with beards

Didn't they all have beards at one time or another?

recent cases beneficial interest after cohabitation after appeal 2008

Err… Fowler v Barron, for one.

adultery co-respondent rights uk

The Co-Respondent can deny the alleged adultery, and can also be heard on the question of costs.

family law since april in uk

Um, it is April. Which April do you mean?

family lawyer seeks work in ireland

There's a joke here...

english law relating to gifts

Not sure if this relates to family law, but disputes over gifts to the parties do often crop up, especially gifts from the parents of one party. That party or the giver of the gift then argues that it was a gift to them only or, in the case of monetary gifts, that it was actually a loan. The answer depends upon the nature of the ‘gift’ and the circumstances, but in the absence of an agreement to the contrary gifts are usually to both parties, and are not loans unless there is evidence of repayment.

claiming half of my ex husbands pension

Yes, you can, although it is arguable that you are only entitled to half of that proportion of the pension that was accumulated during the marriage. There are other factors involved, and you should seek legal advice.

examples of a character reference for a divorce

Why would you need one?

entitlements if my husbands leaves

All I can say here is that the starting-point is equal division of assets. If you want more than that, get some advice.

property price dispute in a consent order

Most orders provide a mechanism for resolving property price disputes, and if they do not then the price will be determined by the court.

money that's what i want tabs

Are you telling this to Tabs, or do you want tabs as well as money? If the latter, seek drug counselling.

family law not eligible for legal aid cant afford

You and many others. Most firms offer advice, for a fixed fee, and there are schemes for fee funding, such as this one.

new law relating to partners and houses

It’s been shelved for now – see this post.

number of school dropouts reported in the british army

What’s this got to do with me?


Update: I've since had a great search term, which I had to add to this post:

legal advise psyco ex wife

My advice: 1. Learn to spell. 2. Get a bodyguard. 3. Hire a good lawyer, and be prepared to give them a bit more detail. 4. In future, be more discerning in your choice of women.

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"Harold W. Thompson has been married twice. The first one lasted seven years and the second one lasted ten years. This middle-aged guy knows a little about separation and divorce."

Harold W. Thompson is the President of D Jewelry Co. and designer of 'divorce rings', another idea from America aimed at helping people get over the trauma of separation or divorce. The rings act "as a healing tool for broken hearts", and are full of symbolism, including a break in the ring to represent separation or divorce and three bands to represent "the three most important events in a failed relationship": meeting, marriage and separation. Apparently, some owners also have them engraved with the date of the divorce, although their purpose is not only to mark the point of separation or divorce, but "also to symbolize a new beginning and positive outlook on the future".

And if a ring alone is not enough, D Jewelry Co. can also offer other merchandise, such as a T-shirt with a picture of the ring and the caption: "Divorced and Loving It!"

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It's being called the 'YouTube divorce', and seems to be causing quite a stir on the other side of the Atlantic. British former actress and playwright Tricia Walsh-Smith has published a video on YouTube in which she complains of her treatment by her estranged husband Philip Smith, president of the Shubert Organization, the largest theatre owner on Broadway. She claims that he is trying to evict her from their New York apartment and that she will lose everything, as a result of a pre-nuptial agreement they entered into. She then goes on to give intimate details of their life, in an apparent attempt to humiliate him.

Is this the way of divorces in the future? I certainly hope not. I also have serious doubts as to whether it will benefit her when the matter goes to court, as seems inevitable. If you want to make up your own mind, here's the video:

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Stuck in a busted marriage? Then we've got the answers to your prayers...

So says Australian 'lads' mag' Zoo Weekly, as it introduces 'its best competition ever'. The prize? An 'actual divorce' (whatever that is), including solicitors' fee of up to $5000, a plasma TV (in case she grabs the one you've got), a PS3 to fill the long lonely hours, a 'spectacular three-tiered divorce cake', a divorce party with ZOO girls and, best of all, a cleaner for two months.

So, what do you have to do to win such an 'awesome prize package'? All you have to do is tell the magazine why you want a divorce, in 100 words or less. As they say: "if you're trapped in a loveless marriage or you've just found out the missus has been rooting your best mate, then this is the chance you've been waiting for."

When asked if the competition could be viewed as encouraging divorce, the magazine's editor was unrepentant: "You'd have to be pretty nutty to enter a competition to win a divorce if you're happily married", he said. Quite.

Zoo Weekly is apparently no stranger to running controversial competitions. Last year it offered readers a chance to win their girlfriends a 'boob job', by sending in shots of her cleavage.

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I don't know whether this has been seen on a blawg before, but it amused me:

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A while back I did a post about wedding ring coffins, for you to put your wedding ring in after divorce. Now I see that a divorce attorney in Atlanta is giving them to some of her clients. When she heard about them Melody Z Richardson thought they were hysterical and purchased two, one of which went to a male client "who has everything", and the other of which will go to a divorcing woman who "has a fabulous sense of humor but is still grieving". She now plans to stockpile them at her office. I hate to disappoint my clients, but somehow I don't think I will be following suit...

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My cat Muhammad was flicking through the news pages today on his laptop. Suddenly he let out a loud "tut", followed by an exasperated sigh.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Have you read this?" He said, pointing his paw at the screen.

""Divorce, abortion an offence to God, pope says"", I read out aloud. "Hmm, not exactly what a believer in God wants to hear just after they've been through a divorce, is it?"

"Hardly." He said, wagging his tail in annoyance. "I'll never understand why so many of you humans do believe."

"You mean cats never have believed in God?" I asked.

"Of course not." Replied Muhammad, with an indignant flick of his whiskers. "We've always known how we evolved. In fact, it's a never-ending source of amusement to us that humans only discovered evolution 150 years ago, and still many of them don't believe in it."

"Yes, we're not the sharpest pencils on the planet." I admitted. "So what are your thoughts on divorce then?" I asked, returning to the topic.

"Terrible thing." Said Muhammad. "Worse than global warming." He added, with a smile.

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Sorry, too busy to post about this - I'm off to the dealers to order my next Mercedes. Now... what colour?

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[I'll do another quick post, before John notices.] Here are a couple of great ideas that were mentioned the other day on my favourite blog, The Smirking Cat, that I thought would be of interest to readers who have been through divorce, and need a bit of cheering up. Firstly, we have a delightful wall hanging with the heartfelt caption: "It's better to have loved and lost, than to live with a Psycho for the rest of your life". Yep, I'd agree with that. The second one is even more tasteful: ex husband/wife toilet paper. Great if you want to rub their nose in it.

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Feeling in a generous mood, I thought I would again respond to some of the search queries that have recently found their way to Family Lore. Once again, my Disclaimer (see the sidebar) applies to what follows.

how do i get a court order to stop my wife from taking the net proceeds from sale of house

Presumably, the house has already been sold and is/was owned solely by your wife, in which case you can apply to the court for an injunction order restraining her from taking the money. If it has not been sold yet then you can register a matrimonial home rights notice at the Land Registry, which will have to be removed before the sale can be completed - you will only agree to its removal once you are satisfied that the net proceeds will not be distributed until their division has either been agreed, or determined by the court. If the house is or was owned jointly, then the conveyancer dealing with the sale should not distribute the net proceeds without the agreement of both parties, or a court order.

what is a draft consent order

And, by the same searcher:

is a draft consent order legal document

A consent order is simply an order, the provisions of which have been agreed by the parties. The term most commonly refers to financial/property orders in divorce proceedings. A draft order is usually prepared by one of the parties' solicitors, agreed with the other party's solicitor, and then sent to the court for approval. If the court approves the draft, then it will make an order in those terms. The question then arises: is an agreed draft consent order enforceable? The answer is that it probably is, unless it states that the agreement contained in the order will only be binding upon the parties in the event of the court making an order in its terms.

who killed shafilea ahmed

We don't yet know, but the police are investigating a number of possible leads, following a recent appeal on the BBC Crimewatch programme.

lawyer deliberately makes it worse for their client

Oh dear. Sounds like this could be a matter for the Legal Complaints Service.

csa liability order can't pay

A liability order enables the Child Support Agency to take action to enforce payment of child support. What happens next depends upon what type of enforcement action the Agency decides to take. For example, they could instruct a bailiff to take possession of the non-resident parent’s belongings and sell them to raise the money the non-resident parent owes, they could take enforcement action in a county court, or they could apply to a magistrates court for the non-resident parent to be committed to prison. Note that on a committal application the court must consider the non-resident parent's means, and whether there has been 'wilful refusal or culpable neglect' on their part.

what to do if you have been named as the person involved in adultery

If you have been named as a 'Co-Respondent' in divorce proceedings, then you will have been served with a copy of the divorce petition, together with a form of acknowledgement, which you should complete and return to the court, stating (amongst other things) whether or not you admit the alleged adultery. If you do, then the court could order you to pay all or part of the Petitioner's costs of the divorce. You should seek legal advice if you are not sure how to complete the form.

i want to change the arrangements for our children

The first thing you should do is to try to agree any change in arrangements with the other parent. If this is not possible, would they agree to discuss the matter with you and a mediator? If all reasonable efforts to agree fail, then you may make an application to a court for an appropriate order (which will depend upon the nature of the arrangements which you would like changed).

taking advantage family court

Huh? Who's taking advantage of who, and how?

remarriage legal advice child support

Remarriage by itself does not affect liability for child support, but if the non-resident parent's new spouse has dependent children, then the liability is reduced when the NRP and his/her spouse live together.

english family law wife equal

Yes - of course.

county court procedures decree absolute

The procedure on applying for the decree absolute depends upon whether you are the petitioner or the respondent. The petitioner may apply after six weeks have elapsed since the date of the pronouncement of the decree nisi, by completing a simple application form and paying the court fee, currently £40. The court will then send out the decree absolute. The respondent may apply three months from the date when the petitioner can first apply, but the procedure is considerably different, and may involve a court hearing. Note that if either party applies after 12 months have elapsed since the date of the decree nisi, then they will need to explain the reasons for the delay, whether there has been any resumption of cohabitation since the decree nisi, and whether the wife has given birth to any child since the decree nisi.

what to dress in law court

Well, I wouldn't recommend a black cocktail dress, fishnet stockings and high heels, as an American judge was found wearing recently (albeit not in court), even if you're a woman. I assume that the query comes from a non-lawyer (hopefully lawyers know what to wear), in which case there is no dress code, but I would recommend wearing something smart, such as a suit.

set aside consent order for material non disclosure

I suspect that this query may have come from a lawyer, so I'll be brief (look it up yourself!). Any order, made by consent or not, can be set aside for a material non-disclosure, but before you make the application ask yourself: would the court have made a substantially different order if the disclosure had been made?

grandparent's rights in divorce

Grandparents (presumably of the children of the divorcing couple) have no rights in connection with the actual divorce proceedings. If the query relates to contact with the grandchildren, see this post. Otherwise, the only other scenario in which grandparents may be involved is in any property settlement on the divorce, where they claim to have an interest in the property.

application for an order for disclosure of child's whereabouts

See this post.

application for ancillary relief for dismissal purposes only

These are required with applications for ancillary relief (i.e. financial/property) consent orders (see above) - the financial claims have to be made, so that the court can dismiss them. They are made by completing a Form A, and heading it with the words 'For Dismissal Purposes Only'.

complaints about mediators divorce

The mediation service should have its own complaints procedure. If you are not satisfied with the outcome, then you may make a complaint to the UK College of Family Mediators.

Lastly, a question that I can't answer:

why marry?

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The latest Grant Thornton survey of "100 leading divorce lawyers in England and Wales" reveals that increasing numbers of people are divorcing because of "mid-life crisis", according to a report in the Guardian today. Extramarital affairs were once again the most common cause of marriage breakdown but, as Mark Harper of Withers pointed out it can be difficult to distinguish between divorces caused by affairs and those caused a mid-life crisis: "They have affairs because they're having a mid-life crisis. How do you distinguish the two?". After extramarital affairs and mid-life crises "family strains" were the third most common cause of marriage breakdown.

All of this may be of interest to sociologists and others, but I've always felt that it should not be the business of family law to pry into the reasons for marriage breakdown or to apportion blame, unless it involves extreme behaviour, or has a bearing upon arrangements for children. Unfortunately, our current divorce system requires one party to blame the other entirely for the breakdown, unless the parties have been separated for two years, but this is usually an over-simplification, as Mark Harper suggests. Adultery is often a symptom of underlying problems within the marriage, and unreasonable behaviour by one party is often matched by equally unreasonable behaviour by the other party. If we bring in a completely no-fault divorce system then we can leave it to the sociologists to work out the true reasons for marriage breakdown, and let the lawyers get on with the job of sorting out arrangements for children and finances, in a blame-free environment.

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It's pathetic. I've been away or otherwise engaged this week (hence the paucity of posting), and as a result I've been completely without access to the internet on occasions. During those periods, I've found myself to be suffering severe withdrawal symptoms, desperate for a blogging fix, or at least a check through my bookmarks. Thankfully, normal service has now resumed.

One internet addiction from which I have never suffered is social networking sites. However, the Telegraph warns today that flirtatious communications on such sites could soon be cited as unreasonable behaviour in divorce proceedings. Apparently, some 13.7 million Britons are hooked to social networking, and many of them are oblivious of the effect of what they are doing upon their spouses. Perhaps the odd period of internet abstinence may benefit their marriages, even if it doesn't do much for their own well-being...

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Here's a story that will strike a chord with my seventeen year old son. A Californian woman has divorced her husband citing a "crippling addiction" to World of Warcraft. For those of you without teenage children, World of Warcraft is an online computer game, or MMORPG (translation: Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game). "He would get home from work at 6:00, start playing at 6:30, and he'd play until three a.m. Weekends were worse -- it was from morning straight through until the middle of the night," she said. Yep, that seems like unreasonable behaviour to me. Ironically, she originally gave the game to her husband as a Christmas present, having briefly worked for the company that developed the game.

All of this may sound amusing, but expect such things to be regularly cited in future divorce proceedings, as more and more people favour their virtual existence over their real one.

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Is there such a thing as 'romantic love', or is it just a delusion, perpetuated by purveyors of red roses and tacky cards? Is it not the case that we are all just selfish creatures, with nothing but self-interest at heart? Yes, we do form relationships, and we do get married, but perhaps that is just because at that moment in two people's lives their self-interest coincides. To then expect that self-interest to remain in unison for the rest of those two lives may be hopelessly unrealistic. This certainly seems to be borne out by the increasing numbers of older couples that get divorced today, and by the recent statistic that 59% of wives would leave their husband if they could afford to do so. So, who does your partner really love - you, or just him/herself?

Happy Valentines Day!

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For any Sassenachs wanting to know the basics of Scottish divorce law, Fiona at Divorce Survivor has written a useful series of posts here, here and here. Interesting to see the differences from, and similarities to, the English system.

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I quite often advise clients who want to get divorced but don't know the whereabouts of their spouse, but I've not come across this before. A judge in Manitoba has given Thomas Dean Kane permission to run a commercial on Vancouver radio station CKNW pleading for information about his long-lost wife, so that he can divorce her and remarry. "Here is a man looking for a divorce," the advertisement begins, before asking anyone who knows the whereabouts of his wife to get in touch with his lawyer. Kane has apparently exhausted every other method of finding his wife.

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Going back to the post that I wrote a couple of days ago, I'd like to dispel another old chestnut about adultery: that you can't commit adultery after you have separated from your spouse. Wrong - you can. It is still adultery - there is no requirement that you are living with your spouse, only that you are still married to them.

It would be nice to think that everyone I deal with reads this post and I never have to explain the above again, but I suppose that is a forlorn hope...

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