Friday, May 10, 2013

...AND JUSTICE FOR NONE: Chapter 2 - Idiot

JOLYON POTTY, a fellow member of Arthur Conscience's chambers 14 Little Graymatter Square, is happily walking out of the Crown Court, after a particularly tricky but successful trial. He has managed to get notorious criminal Larry Larceny off of a burglary charge, despite having the evidence stacked against him.

"Fank Gawd for the legal profeshun!" Exclaims Larry, walking alongside Jolyon. "I fought I was going inside for anuvver stretch, but you got me orf!"

"Oh, it was nothing." Replies Jolyon modestly.

"Nuffink!" Exclaims Larry. "I should cocoa! You woz brilliant!"

"Well," says Jolyon, "I suppose I was rather good."

"You woz so good I want to get you a fank-you present!" Exclaims Larry.

"Oh, that won't be necessary" Says Jolyon.

"I insist!" Exclaims Larry. "Wot's yer address? I'll get the present sent there!"

Jolyon gives Larry his address.

*            *            *

14 Little Graymatter Square, one month later.

"Bloody hell!" Exclaims Jolyon, slamming down the phone.

"What's the matter?" Asks Arthur.

"You remember my Mayfair flat was burgled last month, while I was in court on that all-day trial?" Replies Jolyon. "That was the police on the phone - they've just caught the burglar!" He exclaims.

"That's good." Says Arthur. "So what's the problem?"

"The burglar was only Larry Larceny!" Exclaims Jolyon. "He must have known I was in court!"

"Ah." Says Arthur. "But how did he know where you lived? What idiot gave him your address?"

"This idiot!" Exclaims Jolyon.

"Ah." Says Arthur. He thinks for a moment. "I don't suppose the police recovered any of your property?" He asks.

"Not a groat!" Exclaims Jolyon. "That ungrateful little bastard sold the lot and got drunk on the proceeds!"

"Ah." Says Arthur.

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